J.F. Lawton – the writer of Pretty Woman, Under Siege, The Hunted, Mistress – was a client since the very beginning. Little did we know that, a few short years after I began to manage his screenwriting career, we’d take the plunge and dive into new roles. The both of us, together. J.F. as a director, me as a producer.

The writers’ strike of 1988 shut down the entire business for almost a year. One day, J.F. came to my office. I think I surprised him when, out of the blue, I said “You’ve nothing to do and I want to make a film”.

I asked him to choose a script from the many he’d written, the one that we could shoot in Los Angeles, on a shoestring budget, that he’d most want to direct.

I’d never raised money for film production, but it never occurred to me it would be a problem or challenge. So I began dialing the phone and taking meetings. Within weeks, I’d raised Two Hundred Thousand Dollars. And off we went to make our first film ever – Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.

It was a comedy of errors, guerrilla filmmaking at its finest. Neither of us had an inkling what we were doing. We had barely four weeks until he and I were due to be at the Sundance Institute’s production lab. We thought about waiting to make the film til we returned from Utah.

But ignorance is bliss. We’d no idea four weeks was not enough time to properly prep, produce, post-produce and deliver a feature length film. So we chose to make the film before we left town.

We plotted two weeks for pre-production, eleven days of photography (with one day off in the middle) and a few days to edit and post the film. Seemed sensible at the time.

I converted my offices to production offices. One week into our two week prep period, J.F. and I were the only two people there, each wearing way too many hats. I was the film’s creative producer, line producer, casting director, assistant director, and more. J.F. was acting as writer, director, editor, location scout and more.

So one night around midnight, we called all our friends. We told them to tell everyone they knew to show up the next day. Our seat-of-the-pants plan was to hire ‘on the spot’, and instantly fill each and every production job (script supervisor, cinematographer, line producer, and some 30-odd other positions).

Without knowing these people, we simply eyeballed them. J.F. and I had a very scientific approach and a subtle way of communicating. If someone was well-dressed, we’d point and nod and they were instantly our head of wardrobe. If someone had ever held a camera or shot a documentary, they were our cinematographer.

Within hours, we were “crewed up”. We crammed thirty plus people into a couple of offices and, crawling all over each other with one week left, ignorant of what we didn’t know, we forged ahead and started shooting on the appointed day.

I seem to recall we made more than 25 company moves (changes of location) in eleven days that took us from Riverside, to Malibu and Hollywood. It was barely controlled insanity. The poor actors and crew – we barely paid them enough to fill their gas tanks.

With only a handful of days left, the editing was ‘almost’ completed before the financier grabbed the film away and declared it ‘finished’. J.F. and I jumped on a plane to Sundance’s production lab on another project (later to become Pretty Woman).

While it was a matter of the blind leading the blind, we completed the film with what little time and money was available – and had a riotous good time. A feminist spoof of Heart of Darkness, the film is absurdly funny, made money, and ran on cable tv for fifteen years. And that is how we got into the business of making films.

I grew up in San Francisco in the 60’s, living only blocks from The Grateful Dead, The Jefferson Airlane, Janis Joplin – and spending almost every night and weekend immersed in the culture of that amazing time – all music and politics. I attended U.C. Berkeley during the maelstrom of the late 60’s and early 70’s.

I’d developed a rather romantic notion about criminal defense. It echoed the reformist ethic of my upbringing. It felt consistent with the ‘values’ of my colorful Haight-Ashbury past. So I made a choice. Off to law school I went.

So I began my career in law, only to quickly discover my temperament and being a criminal defense attorney were a very bad match. Oil and water. So I fled.

I realized the one other thing I often fantasized about was the world of writers and writing. So I ran away to the circus – Los Angeles in the 80s appeared rather like a circus to my naïve eye – hoping to become the Maxwell Perkins of the screenwriting trade.

Maxwell E. Perkins was the single most influential book editor of the 20th century. He single-handedly discovered many of the most prominent American writers of the first half of the last century. During his tenure at Charles Scribner’s Sons, Perkins discovered and nurtured the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Thomas Wolfe, Ring Lardner, Ezra Pound and James Jones. “Editor to Author: The Letters of Maxwell E. Perkins” is a brilliant book, filled withg correspondence between Maxwell Perkins and his many authors.

I too wanted to discover great writing talent. I could envision myself nurturing their creativity, championing them to the world and building their careers. I imagined helping many excellent films to get produced along the way. I had a picture in my head, imagined being inspired by a tantalizing collection of creative minds, enjoying a seat at a latter day ‘Algonquin Round Table’.

I was sorely surprised to find it would not be so easy, not nearly so romantic an undertaking.

When I arrived, I knew virtually nothing of “the business” [the entertainment industry] and proceeded to interview with quite a few places, primarily studios. I couldn’t come close to getting a job. I knew no one and knew nothing about the business. They looked at me as if I was a stranger in a strange land. And it felt strange and foreign.

So I naively thought “oh well, I’ll just start my own company.” ‘Management’ was a relatively new and unregulated area, so I immediately started a literary management company. I focused on writers and writer-directors, because writing and storytelling were my first loves. The first few years were lean, to say the least.

I’d long been enamored of both contemporary and classic films. I knew it was the calibre of the writing that separated out those that made a lasting impression on me.

Though impossible to list all that top my list of ‘great’ films, Graham Greene’s “The Third Man” would be near the top of the list. The creative prowess underpinning the unfolding mystery and relationship between Joseph Cotton’s ‘Holly Martins’ and Orson Welles ‘Harry Lime’ remains to this day a perfect fascination. This is the sort of magic that inspired me to want to discover and champion young film writers.

As much as I admired the work and contributions of directors, actors, producers and others, it is the writer who inhabits the cradle of creation. The process of writing is arduous, mysterious, challenging and inspiring to me.

I managed writers for better than ten years, the first six years just managing, and the last four or more years producing on the side. My initial foray into producing included some fun, if not well-known, small-budget independent films (Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, Pizza Man, a CBS movie-of-the-week Victim of Love, among others). My experience with writers, and my desire to collaborate ever more closely, led me to choose producing as a full-time pursuit.

My admiration for writers and the years spent fighting battles on their behalf, giving story notes, making deals and learning how to be their best advocate afforded me the single greatest preparation to be an effective producer… and to develop career strategies that deliver consistent and measurable results.

I’m excited to continue collaborating with writers, developing more exciting films together. The surprise of discovering another brilliant story, another inspired writer, is its own reward.

I’ll be eternally grateful to the many creative and talented writers who’ve entrusted me – as their manager or as their producer – with their work and their careers. I’m certain they’ve taught me far more than I taught them.

With talented writers and well-crafted screenplays, I was able to ‘up my game’ and begin producing with and for major studios. One of the keys to playing in that arena is to forge relationships with bigger name actors and their agents, managers, attorneys, publicists… anyone close enough that you can get them to read and attach to your project.

I found Julia Roberts by attending a pre-release screening of “Mystic Pizza”. By merely accepting an invitation from the producers of that indie film, I struck gold and they were kind enough to introduce me to Julia and her agent. Not long after, she’d attached to ‘Pretty Woman’, then titled ‘3000’. Not yet a household name, but my instincts nonetheless screamed this actress was destined to be ‘Vivian’ – the lead in our film.

I’d sold ‘Under Siege’ as a script to New Regency who, at the time, had a deal at Warner Bros. Knowing the studio had just signed a deal with a then up-and-coming Steven Seagal (after his success with smaller films like ‘Hard to Kill’ and ‘Above the Law’ etc), I encouraged everyone to get the script into his hands as his first project with the studio. And it worked. Sometimes an actor responds well, other times you have to be persistent beyond reason.

Richard Gere loved the storyline and lead role in ‘The Mothman Prophecies’, and tracked the project for months even reading various drafts as we were developing it. Securing Richard as our lead in ‘Pretty Woman’ was quite a different experience.

Richard Gere had turned down the role of ‘Edward’ in ‘Pretty Woman’ on multiple occasions. Ed Limato, Richard’s agent for many years, responded enthusiastically to the project. Despite his support, Richard first declined the project when I’d originally optioned it to Vestrong, and again later when I’d moved the project from Vestron and set it up at New Regency.

After I’d submitted and ultimately sold the script to Touchstone (Disney), and now had a major studio and director on board, I was able to convince the studio executives (along with the film’s director, Garry Marshall) that Richard Gere was the absolute best choice for the male lead role and to make him an irresistable offer. And the rest, as they say, is history.

The lesson learned is simple: trust your instincts and then just become single-focused in your determination and advocacy and pursuit.

Being a product of the 60’s in San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury and graduating Berkeley in the early 70’s, I had fantasies of becoming a great criminal defense lawyer handling the hot political cases of the day.

Instead, I ended up representing the indigent adults in San Francisco’s largest ghetto, an extraordinary community, although my clients were far from politicos. But not before being rejected outright from law school, a seeming failure I had to overcome and a harbinger of what awaited me in LA (yes, every single film is a failure many times over before it becomes a success… more on that another time).

I quickly realized the harsh day-to-day reality of legal defense was not well-suited to my temperament, so I ran away to Los Angeles just as I was entering my 30s, to the fantasy world of storytelling and film. Norman Mailer had described filmmaking as “a combination circus, military campaign, nightmare, orgy and a high” and that sounded right up my alley.

So I arrived, knowing nothing and nobody, proceeded to rent offices and launch a literary management firm, with zero clients. I went to every screening, gathering, party, joined every organization I could find. And played tennis. Turns out that was my best strategy. In the middle of the afternoon, LA’s tennis courts were filled with writers. Who else would be playing at that hour ?

Ignorance does turn out to be bliss, so long as it’s accompanied by a very stubborn streak and a daily regimen of persistence.

PARIS – Hollywood producer Gary Goldstein has been behind some extraordinary successes in cinema, with films such as ‘Pretty Woman’, ‘Under Siege’ and ‘The Mothman Prophecies’ receiving numerous Academy Award nominations, People’s Choice Awards, a Golden Globe and other awards.  Critical success has been matched by outsized (Billion dollar) box office returns.

Gary’s expertise and enthusiasm ranges from philanthropy, to being a speaker, author and consultant, and as a ‘go to’ person for the Hollywood A list.

Film Industry Network brings you an insight into Gary’s successful mindset.

IN CONVERSATION WITH GARY GOLDSTEIN

How did you get your first feature made?

Every problem or obstacle is merely an opportunity in disguise, and that was certainly true when the WGA (Writers Guild of America) went on strike in 1988.  That strike lasted the better part of a year, inflicted grievous harm – economic and otherwise – not only on the Hollywood production communities of film and television, but on the economies of Los Angeles and California.

During that time, most everyone was in the grip of fear, not able to work, not able to generate income or move their projects forward.  No one was buying, the studios and networks simply shut down all production.

I saw an opportunity to shift gears and produce a low-budget ‘indie’ film.  At the time, I had my own literary management company representing writers and directors.  So I called one of my writer clients and asked him if he wanted to direct his first film.  We dusted off an older low-budget script of his, I went out and raised enough to cover a very modest budget (approximately $200k) and I became the film’s producer.

We prepped, cast, crewed, shot and post-produced that film in exactly four weeks.  We had an internal deadline, because that client, J.F. Lawton – a complete unknown at the time – and I were accepted to Sundance’s ‘production lab’ with a script then-titled “3000”.  That script later got produced and released as “Pretty Woman”.

So the moral of the story is simple.  Take action, do your passion, believe in yourself and what’s possible.  That little ‘indie’ – “Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death” jump-started my producing career and I’ve never looked back.  Today, with all the technology and options available to us, anyone can make a short or feature film if they’re truly committed.

What do you believe is the most important asset to have in order to be successful?

Relationships.  Period.

Yes, persistence and pig-headedness are critical.  Taking consistent persistent daily action is imperative.  And all that must in large measure be focused on the goal of creating rapport and relationship with your “Top 100” list… the people you want to thank some day when you’re standing on stage, accepting an award, and acknowledging all those without whom you wouldn’t be standing there.

Who are the people – across all the landscape of film or tv – you need to strategically target and get into relationship with, to set you apart and set you up for an enduring success ?  To create a career, and not be at the whim and mercy of circumstance  and prayer ?

Agents, managers, producers, script consultants, executives, directors, attorneys – all form and manner of life forms in the eco-system of Hollywood – that will increasingly make up your network and your team.

I’ve a simple theory that 100 significant relationships across these diverse populations are all one needs to create a meaningful career and business.  Set aside 30 minutes every day – and this is gospel – for your research, goal-setting (not destinations, but action steps), your step-by-step marketing plan, for reaching out to people via email and phone.

Who are they ?  How do you approach them ?  How do you build in a specific yet easily achievable ‘call to action’ and ‘followup’ into every initial conversation ?  These and other precise, very ‘do-able’ strategies are the exact things that separate

out those who are committed to success, and who ultimately succeed.

These, along with a myriad of concrete strategies – the very ones I’ve used to build careers for my former clients, as well as to build my own career, are the stuff of my courses, mastermind group, teleseminar – all the mentoring I do.

Why ?  Because I believe those with talent need to un-learn old mindsets and behaviors – the ones we’ve all been ‘taught’ – and get on the path to their success.  Stop believing it’s just about your script or project, or that it’s simply a matter of getting an agent.  It’s about you, and the relationships you can create – intiating a minimum of one per week.  You’re the ‘value add’, the reason people will hire you, option you, finance you, produce you.  Know how to do this effectively and it becomes a natural, comfortable habit.  In as little as 6 to 12 months, you’ll have created a real, exciting, viable foundation for a far bigger future and career.

What does it take to get your foot in the door as a screenwriter?

A stubborn streak, intelligent marketing habits, an action plan that is clear, specific and measurable.  I’ll mention one very specific item in a long list of strategies and that’s to befriend the gatekeepers – the ‘assistants’ in film and television, at studios and agencies, at management and production companies.

When you understand their mindset, how to effectively communicate with them, what not to do or say, what specific types of advice, tasks, favors, actions you can ask at the outset (enabling you to nurture your rapport and grow a ‘relationship’), you’ll have mastered a key strategy that will massively reduce frustration and cut years off your ‘success curve’.

The assistants are a culture unto themselves, and knowing how to work that system will pay dividends far beyond the individual on the other end of your phone line.

How did you build your network of contacts?

Relentless networking to zero in on those worthy of the time and effort needed to build meaningful relationships.  Wherever I went – film festivals, the local coffee shop, the gym – I would engage people in conversation.  It’s amazing what you discover – the unexpected relationships others enjoy, and their natural willingness to help – if you approach people openly and authentically.

Another key is, at all costs, to avoid asking a favor.  Instead, seek advice.

There’s no quicker way to learn, to honor another, to make people actively want to help you than to respect their knowledge and experience, subconsciously or consciously placing them in the role of mentor.

And yes, mentors are a non-negotiable mandate.  Get thee a mentor.  Better yet, identify various mentors with different expertise.  When I recognized the void, my lack of mentors, I course-corrected and it’s made all the difference.  I have enjoyed and will for the rest of my life have mentors.

Similarly,  join or create masterminds.  Surround yourself with committed, smart people – hopefully those who’ve ‘been through it’ and are more successful – and make them a part of your inner circle, your feedback loop, your trusted advisors.

Today, social media has opened the door wide.  So much can be done faster, smarter, more effectively (beginning) online.  Take advantage, put your message and goals out for others to see, join groups, get known.

What kind of projects are you working on at the moment?

I’m in the midst of several projects, all in various states of readiness.

I’m just completing a capital raise for an ‘indie’ that we’ll shoot on high-definition for a mid-six figure budget.  We’ve an innovative distribution model and I’m as excited about this little film as any I’ve been involved with in the past.  The opportunity for quality storytelling has never been greater, but the need to be brilliant – to stand out from the crowd – has likewise never been more essential.

Technology is shifting, opening up significant opportunities.  How we finance, produce and distribute films is also changing rapidly.  Likewise, more talent is available to work on smart, independent projects than ever before.

This particular film – which I’ll produce with an extraordinary partner  – is a story set in the midst of one of the most powerfully positive youth movements to come along in modern time… and has exquisite music and dance elements to boot.  Beyond that, you’ll have to wait and see !  Mum’s the word.

PATRICK’S EMAIL

Hi Gary,

I accepted your Facebook friend request some time ago because I like the work you did on the Under Siege films and The Mothman Prophecies (a highly underrated thriller, in my opinion). I also admire the success that you had in regard to Pretty Woman.

Recently, I’ve received two requests from your account to become of “fan” of yours. Now, I mean no disrespect in saying this, but I declined the first as I found it a bit crass to make such a proposition to people who are already Facebook friends. I received a second fan request a short while ago and it gave me the thought to investigate a bit further into what you’ve been doing with your time since your last feature production.

I perused your website, looking over the details of your books, as well as your one-on-one mentoring and MasterMind conference call offerings. While reading through the testimonials I did some quick IMDB searches to see how well things had worked out for those who provided rather glowing critiques of your programs and was surprised to find some not listed there at all and others who had only a single writing credit from years ago.

Now, I am an aspiring screenwriter and do have decent understanding of how the Hollywood system works, but frankly I’m uncomfortable signing up for any of you’re programs given the lack of documentary evidence that I can uncover in regard to others finding fruitful benefits from doing so. I’m interested if you might share with me some concrete examples of writers you’ve aided who have reached a degree of *ongoing* success, preferably recent examples. I know you mentioned Matt Reeves in the VTTV infomercial, but I must say that I find much of his current professional prosperity to derive from his ongoing association with JJ Abrams. I mean that as no poor reflection on your clear skills as a producer, only that others’ guidance have been critical to his rise to fame.

We both know that there are lots of folks peddling mentoring assistance and concept/script feedback these days, many where to say they’ve reached a marginal degree of success in the film making business would be a bit of a stretch. I’m sure you’d agree that there’s a big difference between getting a credit on a project or two and making an actual name & career for yourself. You’ve certainly accomplished the latter, and doing the same is what interests me, but there are so many traps in attempting that tough feat, a great deal laid with nefarious & greedy intent, that I do think it only fair to be very shrewd in choosing which avenues to try, avenues such as your live assistance packages.

Again, I enjoy many of the films you’ve made and might be interested in the assistance that you have to offer in regard to a few scripts I’ve been developing. I was just hoping that you might be able to provide me with some more details about the impact that your aid has had and how to get a career off the ground as opposed to making only the briefest of splashes.

Patrick

GARY’S RESPONSE

Patrick, your skepticism is not uncommon.

Every writer I mentioned was, at the time I began working with them, unproduced – and usually hadn’t even optioned or sold anything, nor did the majority of them have previous representation.

J.F. Lawton is one example — no options, no produced films, no agent or manager, no ‘conversation’ of any kind. Yes, he went on to work with James Cameron, Joel Silver, Dick Donner, many others.

But it doesn’t begin there. It begins, as with any enterprise, by building brick by brick, relationship by relationship.

Matt Reeves absolutely did not start by associating with J.J. Abrams, he earned his way up to that relationship (with multiple produced projects paving the way, all based on a series of quality relationships). The same for every writer I mentioned.

For some reason, people look at a great success and find a reason why that “doesn’t count”. But every success is founded on smart and hard work, relationship building and consistent marketing and persistence – the little but profound choices each of us makes every day to commit to results that are not visible in the short term, but that ultimately determine our success or lack of success.

I know of few in any industry who simply catapulted in one year or less to astonishing success, myself included.  If you harbor that sort of expectation, then my mentoring would not be appropriate.  Nor would the experience of writers I’d managed years ago, or that of my mastermind group, support a decision to be mentored by me.  I do not possess a magic elixir and do not promise near-instant results.

Allison Burnett’s “Fame” is now being marketed and released, but when we met he was doing homegrown no-budget black & white films with his friends.

Every single story, every single success is based on cumulative relationship building. Not one of the people I referenced “got a credit” or “made a splash” on a project, and then had their career fizzle. Had that been the case, I would not be holding them up as proper models for an enduring successful career.

It’s not, however, about them. It’s always and only about the level of commitment any of us make to our own career and the consistent choices and behaviors we embrace – for better or for worse. I am not “peddling” anything. I make myself available and I’m delighted to work with those who choose me. For those that choose otherwise, that’s also perfect.

Taking dominion and taking action to grow a career is only about being “shrewd” in the context of how soon, with what strategies, and with whom you align to ‘make it happen’.  Choose wisely, but choose whatever you intuitively feel is right for you and that allows you to advance toward your life goals.

Mentors and masterminds are a value second-to-none for those committed to finding their path to success.  It’s up to you to find key relationships that suit your temperament and goals. I agree not every teacher or mentor is right for everyone, and vice versa.

What compels some people to quit in the face of adversity and rejection, while others pursue their dream with a single-minded sense of purpose ? Why is quitting not an option for some ? What force of will fuels people to rise above bad circumstances or a string of initial failures ?

The rags-to-riches story of John Paul deJoria personifies the American Dream. Spending much of his youth in a street gang in East Los Angeles, John Paul deJoria was repeatedly admonished by his high school math teacher that he would “never, ever succeed at anything in life.” After a couple of years in the Navy, deJoria aimlessly floated through a series of jobs, from janitor, to pumping gas, to bicycle repair, to selling encyclopedias, insurance and copier machines. Still in his twenties and too proud to ask for help, deJoria found himself homeless, sleeping in his car. Eventually he landed a job for $650 a week with Redken Laboratories, the leading professional hair salon product company. When he was fired by Redken, deJoria approached his friend Paul Mitchell, a leading hair designer and, with $750 of borrowed funds, they partnered in a new hair styling product enterprise. The ‘enterprise’ consisted of a post office box and phone answering machine. Visiting salons door-to-door, they offered to do free demonstrations – a sales strategy never before used in the business. They even offered a full money-back guarantee if a salon did not sell 100% of all their products. Despite their boldy innovative approach, the majority of doors were slammed in their faces. That was then. Today, the company’s annual revenues top $1 billion. Although unable to afford color packaging when starting out, their products bear their black and white brand to this day – a reminder of their humble beginnings.

Fran Harris proudly wears a ring. Playing for the Houston Comets the very first season the WNBA was formed, Fran’s talent as a professional athlete was the stuff of legend. Yet, it’s the personal side of her journey that makes Fran a true champion. Growing up in a modest section of Dallas, Texas, Fran’s mother died when Fran was in her teens and, while two of her brothers went to jail, one of them also suffered a serious issue with drugs. Not having a formidable success model in her world, Fran was nonetheless determined not to be a teenage mother or fall prey to drugs, but to make a better life for herself. Fran began playing NCAA basketball while at the University of Texas at Austin. Later, amidst the politics of the sports world, Fran was cut from the U.S. Olympic Women’s basketball team, and swore she’d never play basketball again. With degrees in journalism, she went on to get her Ph.D. in business adminstration and become a successful young entrepreneur. Then the WNBA was announced. It was 1997 and Fran hadn’t played basketball in over eight years. But her dream was rekindled. She decided on the spot she had to play in the first-ever season of this new professional league. Fran announced to friends inside and outside the sports world that she was going to try out. Every last person gave her reasons not to do it. She was too old, she hadn’t played in too many years, she was out of shape, she shouldn’t risk the business success she’d worked so hard to achieve, she was 30 years old ! Despite the odds – there were only two spots available on the Houston Comets team – Fran didn’t listen. She began training daily and changed everything – the way she ate, the way she walked, the way she spoke – all in pursuit of her single-minded goal. When she entered the gym for final tryouts, Fran faced 250 younger women athletes all vying for the very same two spots. Fran was chosen to play for the Houston Comets, and the team went on to win the first seaon’s championship. Fran wears that ring to this day as a reminder that no force should keep a person from the life they deserve.

John Grisham is one of the world’s best-selling authors, with over 250 million books in print in dozens of languages, and whose books have given us some of the greatest films of our time. Before turning to writing, Grisham was devoted to the idea of being a baseball player. That dream was dashed when he was cut from his college baseball team. Grisham went on to become a lawyer, practicing in a small town firm for a decade. In 1984, having witnessed the harrowing testimony of a 12-year old rape victim, Grisham began writing his first novel. What if the girl’s father had murdered her assailants ? Three years later, he completed a manuscript entitled “A Time to Kill”. The rejections came fast and often, and for a long while thereafter. Publishers and publishing agents seemed unanimous in their response. It was only persistence that finally found Grisham’s manuscript picked up by a small press that printed a limited number of copies of his book. Throughout, Grisham never waivered and busily went to work authoring his second novel, ‘The Firm’, which went on to become the seventh bestselling novel of 1991. Grisham’s novels connected with audiences worldwide, and films spawned by many of his works, including ‘The Client’, ‘The Pelican Brief’ and ‘The Runaway Jury’ went on to enjoy stunning commercial success.

Have you ever suffered a defeat or fallen short of a goal ? When faced with great difficulty or repeat rejection in the past, has your habit been to abandon your vision ? Did you somewhere deep inside feel you cheated yourself or that if you’d only dug a bit deeper or tried a slightly different approach, you might have met with success ?

Either you determine what constitutes the difference between a success in the making and a failure, or you allow others to make that judgement for you. Either you persist and adopt strategies with unflagging determination to realize your result, or you give way to your doubts, fears and perceptions of what others might think.

One of the greatest architects of all time, Frank Lloyd Wright, said “I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.” Yet as Seth Godin wrote: “Persistence isn’t using the same tactics over and over. Persistence is having the same goal over and over.”

Having graduated college and determined to become a criminal defense lawyer, a young man had his heart set on working for a particular foundation located in a ghetto that provided legal defense and other social services for its community. This was to be his training ground and leg up to get into the law school of his choice. With no experience, the foundation would not hire him. Nonetheless, he showed up week after week, insisting they accept him as a volunteer intern for one year. Finally, they relented. For one year, he learned legal research, interviewed witnesses, did absolutely anything asked of him and learned everything he could. Near the end of that year, he received a rejection letter from the only law school he wanted to attend. Having given his all, working long hours and devoting himself to the foundation, the community and the work, he was devastated. Upon learning the news and unbeknownst to him, three young attorneys from the foundation had secretly and immediately set a meeting that very afternoon with the dean of the law school. Putting their reputation and that of the foundation on the line, they surrounded the dean, insisting she grant a wild card admission on the spot. Champagne in hand, they returned to deliver the surprise news.

I was that young man. And I was amazed to the point of being speechless. These three attorneys canceled their court calendars for an entire afternoon to do everything in their power to deliver my dream. This was their way of expressing their appreciation for my persistence and dedication, for the value I contributed to make their work and the foundation’s mission a bit more successful, for being a positive and consistent presence, and for volunteering my best.

Have you ever been amazed by people going out of their way to do something extraordinary for you ? Have you ever wondered what inspires people to take such action and be so generous of spirit ? Can you conjure up the feelings of wonder, appreciation and joy that flow from being on the giving or receiving end of such bold and generous moments ?

I’ve always been fascinated by people’s willingness to go above and beyond, to make choices and take actions that might well be considered ‘extraordinary’.

That moment was a powerful reminder of something so central to a successful life. Much hinges on the quality of relationships we create for ourselves, and how fully and authentically we invest ourselves in these primary human relationships. As Aristotle said: “In the arena of human life, the… rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action.”